We’ve found a lot of people are having trouble growing up. Some people never grow up. People who aren’t growing up are blaming the outside world for their problems, not taking responsibility for themselves, have low expectations of what they can achieve, and are generally just living mediocre lives. Growing up is the most important thing you can do in your life – but how do you do it?

So we decided to write an ebook to help young adults (and anyone else) grow up more effectively. I have spent years consuming content voraciously and producing nothing. I’ve been soaking up knowledge like a sponge and have not been applying it as well as I could. I considered starting a blog before it was cool and brushed it off because “I didn’t know what to write about”. Guess what? It doesn’t matter. Start something anyway. Get feedback and adapt.

Here’s my commitment to you – faithful readers:
We will release our ebook about growing up in 3 months – by February 15th 2010
We’ll keep you updated as we go along.

What about growing up do you need help with or would like to know more about? (leave a comment below)

In my experience, this has always been the case.

When I was in 8th grade, I started attending a small private school in my hometown. It was a small class of mixed middle and high school kids. I had been home schooled by my mother since about 3rd grade and I had struggled with Algebra 1 the previous year. Not surprisingly I started off having the same trouble in the new school. My mother recalls me coming home one day and complaining, “I just don’t get it.” Fast forward a few weeks and everything was starting to click, slowly and steadily. A few months later, I started helping the other students in my grade with Algebra. My teacher was not well versed in math beyond the 8th grade level so during the next two years, I ended up teaching the other students Algebra 1 and 2. Most of the time I would spend the entire day at school teaching myself the math from the book and then helping the other kids when they needed it. My other studies would just get pushed off into afternoon homework.

A similar thing happened at work more recently. Eight months ago I knew nothing about the technology our project was based on. Now I’m the team lead.

My circus coaches in Canada said the same thing. The first day of acrobatics training, the instructors told me, “The first two weeks are the worst. After that you’ll be fine.” And they were right.

So what’s the trick?

1. Give it two weeks.
2. No matter how hard it seems, don’t give up. You may not make any noticeable progress for several days. Don’t worry about it.
3. Give it your full attention. 20 hours a week minimum.
4. Concentrate on the parts that you know and improve them first. This will give you the momentum and confidence to tackle the more difficult problems.
5. Try an approach for a few days. If it seems like you’re hitting a dead end, change the context a little: try a different book or ask a new question (or rephrase an old question) . Sometimes it makes all the difference.
6. Sketch out notes and diagrams as you go along. They don’t have to be overly detailed or neat. Just keep a notebook handy. At certain points you’ll experience ‘Aha!’s. Be sure to write those down.
7. Work harder than everyone else. You will succeed.

After two weeks of concentrated study, you should know enough to do something useful with your new skill. You can apply this process to learning to just about anything:

• Juggling
• Programming
• Dancing
• Foreign languages
• Any academic subject

Whatever you’re trying to learn, just give it two weeks. Work hard and be awesome.

Forty years ago this was awesome advice. If you went to college immediately after high school it meant that you probably wouldn’t have to fight in Vietnam. I’d choose school over war any day, and I’m not even a pacifist. Our generation (the teens and twenty-somethings), however, has a much better set of circumstances. We no longer have a draft and there are all sorts of new options for us to choose from. We no longer have to go to college to avoid premature death. In fact, I highly recommend that young people do not go to college right after high school–at least not full time.

In high school, I’m sure you’ve met a few people who have decided their next moves on the planet for the next 10+ years: “I’m going to Brown to study Marine Biology. Then I’m going grad school and I’ll travel the world and help people.” Hey, that sounds great. But the path isn’t always that clear for everyone, though, is it? When I talk to young adults about college, the conversation usually goes one of two ways: “I know exactly what I want to do. Let me tell you all about it.” OR “I don’t really know what I want to study. Psychology might be interesting, or maybe literature. Chemistry or architecture might be cool, but I don’t really like math. I haven’t decided yet.” The scary part is, some people who “haven’t decided yet” still go to college right after high school. They wander through classes with a half-hearted plan and end up changing majors a couple of times before finally graduating 5 or 6 years later. Then they find a job somewhere, or they move back in with their parents. One or the other.

So why do it in the first place? The reasons can be many, but likely a combination of the following:

1. Your parents told you to do it.
2. Your teachers told you to do it.
3. Everyone else is doing it.
4. You have nothing better to do.
5. You like racking up student debt. (Changing majors can be very expensive.)

Let’s take a look at each of these and explore a few ways to deal with the pressure.

1. It’s time to start thinking for yourself. Until now, most of your decision-making has defaulted to authority figures like your parents and teachers. I’m sure they had all lots of useful things to tell you, but now is the time to start exercising your decision-making skills.
2. See 1.
3. See 1.
4. This one is a little more difficult. If you really believe that you have nothing better to do, at least explore some options that don’t cost quite as much. Be creative. Don’t be submissive.
5. Okay, this one is obviously a joke. But you get the idea.

Back to my original point. There are several reasons why young people shouldn’t go to college right after high school, even if they are pretty sure of what they want to study. Why? Because teenagers are mostly insane. The tsunamis of hormones don’t really mellow out for a few more years, at which point young adults are finally ready to rejoin the human race.

So what can you do instead?

1. Get a job.
2. Get your own place (apartment or whatever).
3. Pay your own bills.
4. Learn how to cook.

If we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs (which I find to be an excellent way of checking the balance in my life), you can see that this satisfies the first two layers of the pyramid. If you are unable to independently satisfy your most basic needs (food, clothing, and shelter), higher achievements will not come easy. Get a good foundation. Don’t be “top-heavy”.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate college. I actually love college. It’s challenging, it’s fun, and you get to learn cool stuff. College is great, but in my experience, you don’t need it to be good at something. I’ll give you an example. At the time of this writing I work for a large engineering company. A few months ago, I was talking with co-worker and I mentioned a class I was taking. So he asked:

“Are you working on your Master’s?”
I shook my head. “No.”
“Bachelor’s?”
“Not yet.”
“Associate’s??”

I had been working with this guy for a year and a half. He had no clue that I was “uneducated”.

I’ll give you another example. I started working on a new project a few months ago and I’m now the lead developer for a team of five people, all with B.S. degrees and work experience. They’re all very smart and very sharp people. I’m not special. I’m not a prodigy. I am, however, reasonably intelligent and I like learning. I work very hard, I ask questions, I tap experts for advice, and I take notes. It’s simple.

You don’t need a piece of paper to be awesome. Some people with degrees are brilliant and quite talented (like my mother and my sister-in-law). Other graduates are utterly incompetent. The point is, a degree does not make you who you are.  You can do anything with enough time and hard work. Maybe all of that effort culminates in a degree. Or maybe it doesn’t.

College is a fine path, but it’s not the only path.